What is the link between married life and separation?
On reading the long separation agreements, I discovered several types of divorce or separation in connection with earlier conjugal life. Schematically of course, three types of separations can be distinguished.
The first is that of women who have bet on the couple and the family, even if they give up many things for themselves. At one point, they realize that their husband has invested little, and even sought elsewhere sexual and effective satisfactions. They feel denied and eventually they explode and get angry.
The second separation is new in history. They are women who want above all to realize themselves. Their spouses accompany them in this self-construction until the day they no longer play this role. These women think that they are at another stage of their personal development: they must move forward, and move on, without that partner. They can keep this ex as a friend since they do not hate him.
The third type is a compromise between the other two. These women have reconciled both a personal life, a commitment to professional life and a conjugal and family life. They do not want to renounce either their “I” or the “we” family. A few years later, they may be disappointed by what they call masculine egoism, their companion preferring too much his “I”. They are angry with him and leave him painfully. We can say that we separate as we have lived.
What does separation tell us about love?
Separation transforms love into two levels. On the one hand, the fact that divorce is a possible event modifies the amorous imagination: love can be born several times throughout life (this is not, however, polygamy, contrary to what some commentators assert ). It is no longer about sex.
The second transformation comes from the fact that most women only want to stay with their companion or husband if the latter is sufficiently attentive to her. Love becomes more and more conditional: we only continue if the balance is positive.
What About The Men?
Overall there has been a surge in divorce in the last few years with divorce lawyers for men like this cashing in on men who wish to be represented fairly.
With alimony payments increasing who can really blame them?